Watches of the Night — Part 1

I woke up early this morning, in spite of staying up a bit later than usual last night. It’s been a rather intense couple of weeks, and my brain has been operating at somewhat over capacity!

Friends needing prayer. Family needing prayer. The world needing prayer. I have a book I’m writing . . . and it’s calling me to get the words strung together. I see God’s hand, once again directly and deliberately guiding me and leading me to places I can’t even imagine — to places I’ve never been. It’s daunting and exciting and honestly, somewhat exhausting!

I’m not good about self-care and I commit this morning to be more attentive to my own needs. I also, though, am acutely aware of my habit of rushing well ahead of God often! What He sometimes means for a time of “stewing and percolating” I transform into a jumbled, hodge-podge, series of false starts and missteps!

Some are uncomfortable when I get any deeper into “faith talk” but it is the core of who I am, and my faith is the only thing that enabled me to walk out of grief to hope and healing. It’s what sustains me now. It’s what compels me to always, always, strive to be a better person — more generous, more gracious, more grateful. It bids me to be at the same time vulnerable and transparent and circumspect and guarded. Our hearts must be guarded at all times! It’s a delicate balance. And just as we think we’ve got things all figured out, the evil one shows up — seizing upon a moment of doubt, or mental exhaustion, or that same vulnerability we are called to be open about.

So, this morning when I woke up early, I took my coffee to the deck and prayed. And prayed. And prayed. It’s the only way I know to unburden myself of those thoughts that are distractions; those problems I need to turn over to God for solving; those doubts about the future.

Today I commit to get back to writing my book more persistently. A lot of it is “in my head” but it needs to be on paper! God is in the mix, and I need to be intentional about allowing Him to rise to the top when I start casting my hopes and dreams and future to the wind! He will have His way. And today I will allow Him to lead!

As for tomorrow . . .

There’s that transparency again!

I rise before dawn and cry for help;
I have put my hope in your word.
My eyes stay open through the watches of the night,
that I may meditate on your promises.
Hear my voice in accordance with your love;
preserve my life, Lord, according to your laws.

Psalm 119:147–149

You can find me just about anywhere as @ themarymoss and linktr.ee/themarymoss