Fine is Not a Feeling!

Like many lately, I’ve been devastated about so many suicides happening — many of the cases involving people in the public eye. They’re wealthy, well-known, loved (or perhaps reviled by “choice”) and seemingly “have it all.”

So what is lurking in the shadows? What is going on? I think it’s about feelings — or the lack of acknowledging them! For one thing, in this digital age, a majority of our “friends” don’t exist in our lives beyond the screen through which we follow their grand adventures and perfect selfies. The highlight reel of everyone’s life is enough to make us feel that our life is surely inadequate, lacking, a mess. And it must be our fault.

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), suicide rates have consistently increased by 1% — 2% each year since 1999, with higher percentage increases reported more recently. The CDC indicates that suicide is currently one of the 10 leading causes of death overall and within each age group 10–64.

Mental health is still not an issue widely discussed. I’m not sure why, since drug and alcohol addiction, cigarette and even video game addictions are openly discussed by the media and within among our friends. All of those involve mental health disconnect in some way. But taking the next step, to addressing thoughts of murder, self-harm, suicide, doesn’t seem like such a huge leap to me! It’s interesting, that based on media reports, all mass-killers have a severe mental health issues. Yet our leaders don’t/can’t/won’t “go there.” It’s time to be proactive.

I get that it’s a huge issue that doesn’t offer us an easy fix! It will be costly, and most politicians believe their constituents don’t want them to pass legislation that will take any additional money out of their paychecks. I’m not going to get political here, beyond mentioning that there is millions of dollars of government waste, each year! If that were reduced, the saved money could be used for addressing and creating opportunities for assistance with mental health issues. But that’s an issue way bigger than I could ever figure out!

So here are some practical ways we can “check ourselves” and also help our friends: Own our feelings and acknowledge them. That way we’re in charge of them! Here are some suggestions:

“Bitterness shows you where you need to heal, where you’re still holding judgments on others and yourself.

Resentment shows you where you’re living in the past and not allowing the present to be as it is.

Discomfort shows you that you need to pay attention right now to what is happening, because you’re being given the opportunity to change, to do something different than you typically do it.

Anger shows you what you’re passionate about, where your boundaries are, and what you believe needs to change about the world.

Disappointment shows you that you tried for something, that you did not give in to apathy, that you still care.

Guilt shows you that you’re still living life in other people’s expectations of what you should do.

Shame shows you that you’re internalizing other people’s beliefs about who you should be (or who you are) and that you need to reconnect with yourself.

Anxiety shows you that you need to wake up, right now, and that you need to be present, that you’re stuck in the past and living in the fear of the future.

Sadness shows you the depth of your feeling, the depth of your care for others and this world.

(Source: mindfulmecca)

This is a great starting point! Notice friends’ dwelling too long in any one of these? Reach out to them! Be open and honest about your concern. They may get mad at you, but do it anyway. It’s too important not to!

You can find more of my musings, ideas and adventures:

http://facebook.com/themarymoss and

http://facebook.com/themarymossauthor

http://instagram.com/themarymoss

On Amazon.com: amazon.com/author/marymoss

On my website: https://www.divinelydesigned.us

Here on medium: Mary Moss